Are You Happy?

Hello my friends and happy spring to you all.

It's been a few weeks since I blogged (bad Dan, bad) and when I finally sat down and tried to gather my thoughts, I actually struggled.

We have shared so much together, you and me, chatting about the emotional struggles, the physical efforts, as well as the tips that lie in the day by day details of getting healthy. 

What could we possibly talk about next?   

Then a thought passed, "How is Dan these days?" A simple question really, but it was the answer that surprised me--Happy.  Yes, happy, the golden  word we all strive for, wishing to apply it and then call it our current self.  

We all live for this little five letter word, don't we? And for me, life had always been so convoluted and full of darkness that the anything uplifting was--for lack of a better word--suspicious. If life was too good, I'd wonder what I was missing. Shouldn't something bad be happening? I had lived at the bottom for so long; I never knew life could be easy and forgiving. That once you conquered your darkness, there was only light--and the light was good.

"There's light at the end of the tunnel," we hear people say it all time, don't we? Do we believe it?

I didn't. Life was negative. Life was a struggle. Life, the good life, didn't happen to me. It happened to privileged others, and surely they'd performed some miracle to earn such a life.

  

Over these past three years, looking back, I realize didn't long for so much as a privileged life as I did life itself. I wanted to walk through a mall or around a park. I wanted to sleep in a bed. I wanted to dance. I wanted to breathe without struggle. I wanted to believe in love, real love, and I hadn't since I was in my twenties.

I'd spent years allowing the negativity to control the way I lived, the way I believed, and all because I had no pride or self esteem. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and truly believed that I'd blown my chance at real happiness a long time ago.

So what changed? How did Dan get happy? CHOICE. It's that simple.

I have blogged about my mirror moment, and how important it is to start loving yourself, but the fuel behind any step towards a better life is the simple act of choice. There's no 10 step method to follow and it often means departing from that in which brings darkness into your life, be it a friend, a job, or in some cases, a spouse. It's hard, I know. It means believing you have the right to have more, more love and more respect, and not just from those around you but from you yourself.

Wait a minute, you say, that can't happen! Nobody finds love and happiness by simply choosing it.

Yes you can. I'm living proof.

You can choose to get healthy.

You can step outside of the darkness.

You can step away from that (those) in which bring only sadness to your life.

You choose to do so.

I did. I chose to love Dan, and in doing so, I lost over 365 pounds. I chose to leave a 20 year relationship, one that was bringing only sadness to us both, and in doing so, I found my angel, my love, my soul mate. 

I choose to help others, and in doing so, I no longer feel worthless. I have a purpose--to reach out to anybody who will listen and let them know nothing is impossible or unreachable.

I have a direction--to help others. I choose to believe in the simplistic circle of life, in which proclaims we are all here to help, encourage and inspire one another, and until we do just that happiness will never be more than a word used by those imagined privileged.      

Don't wait. Choose life. Choose happiness.

PEACE

Dan